After moving my son 1600 miles away from home to continue his education in law school I’ve realized some things my mom never told me.
1.It still hurts to say goodbye, even though he is 23, and realize it always will.
2. He wants and needs his independence from you, meaning, no unsolicited advice. He seeing everything you say as treating him like he is 5, and he reminds me he isn’t. Even so, Mothers will always know best!
3. That you will cry without shedding a tear because your heart aches but you don’t want him too see you cry.
4. You will have to share your little boy with another woman that loves him too.
5. You will not always be the first person he calls when he needs something. He will call his sister, his friends, or his girlfriend.
6. You will no longer will be the center of his world, as it should be, but my heart has not gotten there yet.
7. You will always worry about his safety as long as you breathe air. I will have scabs on my knees from endless prayer!
8. He will respect you as a person and want to be treated as an equal with his own opinions. Hopefully, someday see you as a close friend, not an over-bearing parent.
9. Now that he is grown, you have to let him navigate the world on his own, hoping and praying that everything you taught him will serve him well in his career and with his family one day.
10. No one can explain how you can be so proud and happy for your children but at the same time feel intense sadness and loneliness.
I am sharing my recent experience with my son and hope it resonates with some of you and your experiences with your grown children. Be strong and reconnect with the things you love and enjoy. Take comfort in knowing your not alone. One of many reasons I started writing this blog, was to connect with women on real issues and things that matter most to us. Stay active, focusing your strength on mind,body and soul.
The September issue of Glamour article, Life 101-We Cry, Let’s Just Own That
written by Kimberly Bonnell and Pamela Redmond Satran, addresses the issue of crying by calling it utterly human and a normal response. Kim shares her emotional response, of holding back tears when she talks about her son. It is referred to it as “love overload”. I love this phrase! The article goes on to say that “crying is the release of intense emotion”. Boy, did I experience a lot of this over the last week. Finally pulled myself together to enjoy the last couple of days hanging out at the beach and sightseeing before returning home. For me, it was hard to say goodbye, but my son was ready and anxious to start a new and exciting journey. I am thankful and grateful to have an amazing son that loves the Lord and is pursuing his passion in life. I look forward to many wonderful years ahead! Stay Tuned for posts coming for The Empty Nester!